In the Embrace of Angels
by Gimli2003
Summary: In her time of need, Sam will get a friend who will change everything in her life...forever. November 25th, new chapter!
1. Prologue

Title/Author: In the Embrace of Angels / by Gimli2003  
  
Season/Spoilers:7 / Grace, plus probably a few more in time; I'll list them as they come to me  
  
Rating/Content :PG-13 / language, probably some violence later on  
  
Category:Sci-fi/ Drama  
  
Summary:In her time of need, Sam gets a friend that will change everything in her life...forever.  
  
Author's Note:OK, this is my first attempt at a SERIOUS SG-1 story. As usual, nothing mentioned here is actually mine, they  
  
belong to all those other brilliant people who created the show. R&R, but most importantly, enjoy! (Don't worry,  
  
the title will make sense eventually;)  
  
In the Embrace of Angels  
  
By Gimli2003  
  
Prologue  
  
The dreams came again, just like it had the night before...and the night before that...and the night before that. They always came back, no matter what. The dreams simply didn't stop.  
  
'You deserve more...'  
  
As though her mind were skewered against the ground, escape was impossible; nothing would stop the dreams. She had tried tiring workouts, booze, sleeping pills, self-hypnosis (though she dared not tell anyone about that), had even considered employing a good knock on the head. Nothing seemed to work.  
  
'I'm not that complex.'  
  
Every time it was the same, the same thoughts and feelings flooding through her, without fail-  
  
'Everything may not be as it seems.'  
  
-yet there were small differences, subtle variations in each dream that made it impossible to steel herself against it. Just when it seemed she could brace herself against the tide of visions, sensations, and memories, the current changed and knocked her under once again. She saw images of the past, whirling by with unnatural speed, yet they retained their clarity despite their immense velocity.  
  
'If you fall asleep, you WILL die!'  
  
If she were to die, there would be no doubt in her mind that her life 'flashing before her eyes' would give her a clear sense of deja vu, seeing as how it would be the...what, the fiftieth time she'd have seen it happen?  
  
'You deserve to love, and be loved in return.'  
  
Her lonely childhood, with an often absent father and dead mother; her difficult adolescent years, struggling to reconcile her desire for acceptance and friendship with her burningly intense need to get ahead and be the best at everything; her trials and tribulations as a rising Air Force officer, facing off against a system that looked down on her with comtempt and ill-concealed loathing; the harsh and cruel nature of the world she fought desperately to save every single day. All these and more haunted her mind, ghosts of the past reluctant to move on until her sanity was shattered.  
  
'Are you ready to hear my theory yet?'  
  
Anger, fear, shame, and frustration rose within her, crying out against the injustice of the universe, calling out to the voices and those to whom they belonged to stop their endless dialogue in her head. As usual, they didn't listen. It was the same set of voices, saying exactly the same things as they had countless times before.  
  
"I don't want anything.'  
  
But tonight was different.  
  
'Boring!'  
  
Tonight she heard a new voice, one that hadn't surfaced in her mind for over three weeks. During her recovery from the ordeal on the Prometheus, she had tried desperately to remember some of the things that had transpired during her time alone in the lonely hull of Earth's first true starship. Now, for the first time in what seemed like years, she heard something that changed everything.  
  
'Neat!'  
  
She KNEW this voice...  
  
'Talk to it, Sam.'  
  
...she knew who did this to her.  
  
Abruptly, the dream ended, and she lay there. Breathing heavily, her clothes wet with a icy layer of sweat, the dream vanishing fast from her memory. In a matter of moments, she would forget virtually every detail of the dream that had haunted her for days on end now. But there was one thing she could remember clearly, a detail now firmly etched into the firmament of her mind: it was the cause of her unrest, the identity of her tormentor.  
  
"Grace."  
  
TBC  
  
Weird dream, huh? Like I said, this story WILL make sense eventually.   
  
Reviews please? If not for me, do it for the button, the button LOVES to be pushed. Push the button. Go on, we know you want to... 


	2. Chapter One: Out of Shadow

The new Carter.  
  
See first chapter for details  
  
Chapter One: Out of Shadow  
  
She splashed water on her face to wake herself up, hoping that in her fully awakened state she would be able to think more clearly about the images and experiences that had plagued her in the depths of the night. Looking up, she saw the dark rings under her eyes that evidenced her recent problems with finding sleeps sweet embrace every night.  
  
Never mind that her job didn't need her to look beautiful every day, or that she had frequently gone for months on less sleep than she got on average now. Of even less importance was what her colleagues would think when they saw her in this REM-deprived state. In fact, sleep wasn't really the issue here. The issue was how things just didn't seem to be the same to her now.  
  
'No,' Sam Carter thought, as she looked in the mirror, 'things aren't the same anymore. They never will be, again.' Ever since her encounter with the alien entity Grace on the Prometheus, her emotional state had been irrevocably turned upside-down. She was a wreck. The slightest offset in her day sent her mind into a plummeting nose-dive, down an infinite abyss of possibilities, full of 'what-ifs?' and 'how-comes?'. She couldn't stop it. It was as if Grace had simply taken from her that most fundamental of traits, the one that got her through every-thing the SGC threw at her: her ability to control. Control herself that is, her thoughts, her feelings; the very course of her mind was no longer hers to plot...if anyone remained at the helm at all.  
  
When each and every single night showed her things that terrified, confused, and humiliated her, the daily ability to control herself was thrown into disarray by floods of images and sensations from her nightly sorties with Graces influence on her subconscious. But how? How had Grace done this to her? And, more importantly, why?  
  
Damn it, she was a soldier and a scientist. She knew how to think and how to fight and how to apply both approaches to any given problem. This was a battle, though, that she couldn't even comprehend. How can you win a struggle when the mere act of trying to understand the objective was beyond you?  
  
'God, please tell I don't need to see Mackenzie,' she thought. Though intended as a little private pun for her inner ears only, meant to light her dreary mood, she was forced to confront the possibility that maybe she DID need a pshrink. Maybe she was finally coming unglued in the cranial region.  
  
She could imagine Jack's comment now, upon finding out that his 2IC had been committed: "Well, someone that smart working with me, it's only a matter of time before I drive her absolutely nuts." Then Teal'c would chime in with his usual "Indeed" and Daniel would concur, though trying to comfort her at the same time, undoubtedly. "Jack, you do that to anyone with an IQ above double digits; I hardly think Sam's an exception to this rule."  
  
She let out a harsh chuckle, looking down the drain to let the water coating her head find its way to the sewage system via her bathrooms plumbing, willing the influence that coated her mind and tormented her nightly in this fashion to follow suit. 'Well, at least I haven't lost my capacity for humor, even if it is the self-deprecating type at that.'  
  
Tearing her mind away from this issue, she started to get dressed and prepare herself for work.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Letting the wind whip past her, Sam raced down the last stretch of highway till the paved road that led to the entrance of Cheyenne Mountain. Her motorcycle hummed and growled like a fierce, wild panther, tearing through the long expanses of open road, leading the huntress perched on top to her field of battle: a lab full of neat experiments fit to distract her from whatever phantoms ofthe night might be resurrected to face her in the day.  
  
She lifted a hand to wave hello/goodbye to the officers guarding the entrance to the base, slowing down to allow them time to lift the gate for her to get through without taking her head off. Finding her usual spot near the elevator, she parked her precious ride, giving it an affectionate pat before silencing the engine.  
  
"Arriving in style today, huh?" she heard a familiar voice ring out from behind her.  
  
"Good morning sir," she gave him a smile as she turned around. "How was O'Malley's last night?"  
  
"Terrific, though it would have been better if you were there." He rubbed his stomach gingerly. "Teal'c and I had a steak eating competition. Ten points if you can guess who won."  
  
"Oh, I'll feel guilty about not being supportive of you sir, but I'll have to go with Teal'c."  
  
"Yep." He pressed the button to summon the elevator for them, having already flashed his ID to the man guarding the inner doors to the base. "Don't feel guilty, though. I swear, it's no wonder Teal'c never heard of a cow on Chulak. They were probably eaten within the first few years of the creation of the Jaffa." He cast a glance behind them. "Speaking of long periods of time, Carter..." he trailed off suggestively-  
  
-'Oh god, please don't let him start about it; he can't have noticed already, can he?'-  
  
-"how long are you gonna stall before you let me ride that bike of yours ?" He gave her a friendly, puppy-dog grin as they stepped into the elevator in an effort to help cajole a satisfactory answer out of her.  
  
A look she was, by now, mostly immune to. "When llamas start spontaneously swearing in French, sir."  
  
He frowned, obviously thinking about that. "I could order you to do it, you know."  
  
She knew this tactic: he was just trying to get her to rise to the bait and become borderline insubordinate with him, because he liked the banter it created. Truth be told, so did she.  
  
"Sir, do you really want me to get the Tok'ra to send Anise over during their next visit?"  
  
His eyes widened in mock horror. "You wouldn't dare."  
  
"Ah, the advantages of having an elder Tok'ra councilor symbiotically inhabit your father. Besides, she doesn't bug me nearly as much as she bugs you," she mused out loud, enjoying their little game. She even let a smile creep onto her lips at the thought of what having Anise visit would do to the colonel; or, to be specific, what Anise would like to use her visiting time to do with the colonel. Not that Carter would ever let that happen, of course; she liked and respected him far too much to subject him to that.  
  
He gave a gruff sigh in response. "The evilness is strong in the Carter blood." He snuck a look at her after she didn't respond for a moment. "Carter?"  
  
"Huh?" she started. Another stream of images and feelings had come flooding through her at that last thought. She had withdrawn into her protective shell to deal with them almost instantly, forgetting that her CO was standing right next to her.  
  
"Where were you just now?" All levity was gone from his voice, his tone deep and friendly, but also concerned and a bit authoritative.  
  
"Uh, thinking sir."  
  
"Ah," he shook his head in understanding. "No wonder I didn't recognize what it looked like."  
  
She couldn't help but laugh at that. She knew that was what the remark had been intended to do, and she didn't mind giving in like that. Quite the contrary, actually. If she couldn't maintain a semblance of control over herself, maybe it was good that others could help give a sense of order to her day to at least mimic that feeling of control.  
  
All too quickly, however, the lightheartedness of the brief laughter faded from her and her thoughts sank back into the quagmire that every night produced in the recesses of mind, waiting to spring on her when she least expected it.  
  
O'Neill, of course, being O'Neill, noticed and commented on it. "Seriously Carter, what's going on?"  
  
'Oh boy, here goes.' "Nothing sir, I'm fine."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Really." She even looked him in the eyes briefly to reinforce the point. She wanted to believe she was fine. Maybe by making him believe that she was fine, it would come true, some small part of her hoped. "I'm good. Why do you ask?"  
  
The Colonel averted his glance a little and shrugged. "Maybe because you've been acting like half your mind is out in some distant galaxy half the time. We haven't seen you at meals recently. You're closed off and very brief whenever someone asks you a question. I haven't heard a single bit of technobabble from you in over two weeks, which I'm pretty sure is a record."  
  
"Sir-"  
  
"You avoid contact with us, always rushing out of the room at the first opportunity. You've had spats of rather violent irritation towards some of the lab techs recently. You even yelled at Daniel for his little rant about the Mayans the other day. Call me crazy but this isn't like you."  
  
Sam sighed, trying to think of a way to "So I'm having a bad couple of weeks. It happens to everyone now and then. I don't need help, sir. It's like I said, I'm fine."  
  
He reached over and hit the stop button on the elevator control panel. "That's a load of bull, Carter. You're not fine. I know all the stages of fine; you're not in any of them."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it, sir." The words came through clenched teeth, her irritation building by the moment. 'What the hell does he know about what I'm going through? He has no right to try and intrude in my life like this.'  
  
"Well, I do! You're a member of my team, damn it, I'm responsible for you. What's more, as my 2IC, I rely on you to help me make sure everything goes well when we're offworld, and I don't think you being in this state is really going to help us any."  
  
Silence reigned in the enclosed compartment. She dared not lift her gaze to meet his, unsure of what her reaction might be. After his little outburst, she might break down in tears, or she might deck him. It was near impossible to tell. Either way, it would mean a serious reevaluation of her potential as a member of SG-1 and, most likely, a resulting reassignment, possibly outside the SGC altogether. No, best to steer clear of any potential disasters like that.  
  
"Carter, c'mon. Talk to me, I'm right here." His voice was soft, gentle, ringing of a want to aid her in her plight, no matter what it was. "Whatever it is, you don't have to fight it alone, I can help."  
  
She couldn't help it; she scoffed at him. "Yeah, sure you can, sir." She gave his title emphasis for good measure, a warning to her CO to back off.  
  
Her CO, because he was Jack O'Neill, didn't heed said warning. "Sam," he took a step closer to her, "this isn't you. What's happened to you? I don't know what the problem is, but if you need help-"   
  
"Sir, if it's all right with you, I'd really rather not be psycho-analyzed by a high-school dropout whose understanding of human psychology is more akin to that of a stray dog than anything else."  
  
Her eyes never left the doors in front of her, and her tone never wavered while responding, a constant deadpan that left no room for misinterpretation. She vaguely registered his unconscious step back at her remark.   
  
Her insides quailed at what had just happened. Her CO, her teammate, her friend had just tried to help her...and she'd attacked him for it. He had reached out, offering his assistance to a beloved comrade who was like family to him, only to see that comrade swat him away while spiting an acidic rebuke at him, belittling his abilities and his intentions.  
  
The seconds rolled by, filled with a silence that was slowly deafening her beneath its massive presence. Slowly, carefully, terrified at what she would find there, she looked over into his eyes, expecting to see anger, surprise, indignation, and rightfully incurred rage.  
  
What was actually there hurt infinitely worse than that. It was pain, disappointment, and a deep, lonely sadness that mirrored her own so greatly, see thought for a moment that she was gazing into a mirror, her own reflection casting images of her piteous state back at her.  
  
"Fine." One word, it was all he spoke. He turned back to the control panel and resumed their descent. They spent the rest of the trip in silence. He didn't do or say a single thing, staring straight forward the whole time, giving her the solitude and silence he thought she wanted. Never once did she object.  
  
When the lift stopped at her level, she got out. "See you at the briefing," was all he said to her, to which she dimly nodded. Then the doors closed and he was gone.  
  
The elevator came to her floor and she disembarked. Her mind in its own little world, she somehow found her way to her quarters. Unlocking the door, she went inside. Depositing her bag on the table in the center of the room, she turned down the lights, letting her precious, lifeless experiments rest undisturbed by one very disturbed woman.  
  
Old Carter never would have done that. She never would have said anything remotely like that to one of her friends, least of all to him, of all people. It was the proof she needed for a theory that had been running around her head ever since she had waken up last night with one name on her lips: whatever Grace had done to her, whatever change the alien had made, it was killing her. Slowly, it was destroying what was once was, turning her into a person she'd rather not get to know. If anything thing remained of the old Sam Carter inside of her, if any of it survived, it was dying. And there was no way for her to save it.  
  
She looked at her watch: 0924 hours. A little over an hour and a half till the briefing started. She had time.  
  
Walking to her bunk, she let gravity hurl her against the mattress. Curling up into a ball, in the embrace of the near total blackness of her quarters, she let the tears come, mourning the passing of the person she once was, the Carter everyone knew, respected, and loved. Exhausted by the emotional release, it was only a matter of moments before sleep took her once again.  
  
TBC  
  
P.S. I know, majorly angsty so far, but is it good? Don't worry, the sci-fi is coming soon enough.  
  
Feed me with reviews, I live for reviews


	3. Chapter Two: Discoveries

You probably know the drill by know: see previous chapter for the info and stuff.  
  
In the depths of sleep, Sam takes a journey into a remarkable world.  
  
Chapter Two: Discoveries  
  
"Has anyone seen Major Carter?"  
  
Daniel Jackson's head came up from the file he was reading on P5V-749 at General Hammonds question. All of SG-1, sans Sam, was seating around the briefing room table, ready to begin the briefing for their next offworld expedition. As absorbed as he had been in the briefing material, he hadn't noticed Sams absence until the General brought up the matter. "No, I haven't seen her. Teal'c? Jack?"  
  
Teal'c responded with a simple shake of his bald head, his normally unreadable expression now clouded with a bit of concern for his fellow teammate; a trace of emotion no one but SG-1, Hammond, and a few other select people would be able to notice.  
  
Jack was another matter. Jackson could see his best friend clench his jaw, undoubtably biting back some glib comment meant to lighten the mood. Obviously, he knew something about what was up with Sam. The fact that whatever it was was enough to dampen even HIS mood only increased Daniels worry.  
  
Obviously, Hammond saw this change in his 2IC. "Colonel, do you know where Major Carter is?"  
  
Jack looked up as though waking from his sleep. "Huh?"  
  
Now Daniel was REALLY beginning to freak out. "Sam. Jack, where is Sam?"  
  
The older man regarded his colleague with a look of curiousity. "Probably in her lab or quarters. Why?"  
  
Hammond regarded his 2IC with a stern look. "Because she's seven minutes late for a briefing, that's why. I expect such behaviour every now and then from you, Colonel, but Major Carter has never been late by even ten seconds once in her entire career."  
  
Daniel furrowed his brow in concern. Jack with that look of vacant, childlike innocence usually meant he was hiding something, be it a minor, insignificant detail or something larger. "Jack, what's going on?"  
  
"Damnit Daniel, what makes you think that I know anything about why Carter would be late? It's like you said, sir," he gestured to General Hammond, "this isn't like Carter." Jack furrowed his brow in concentration. "And that's...significant...somehow."  
  
Frustration building inside of him, Daniel pushed his chair away from the table. "I'm going to go see if Sam is in her quarters, find out if she's okay." He didn't even wait to see the nod of approval from General Hammond before quickly making his way out of the briefing room.  
  
As he made a beeline down the corridors of the SGC, Daniel could only wonder what had happened that would make Sam miss out on a briefing: thoughts of deadly, flesh eating diseases, covert abductions by NID operatives, and just you plain, everyday car accident raced through his mind. The pounding of his heart against his chest and his feet against the floor were in sync; a rapid beat of drums marching towards some rising climax of inescapable danger for his dearest friend.  
  
Abrupbtly, all desire to remain innocous vanished, and Daniel began to sprint down the corridors towards Sams quarters.  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
The world was formless; there was nothing, no where and no when. Sam found herself amidst a roiling cauldron of bluish-white strands of gaseous being, alight with an inner glow that was at once intense as a stellar core yet soft as a lunar reflection. She was astonished to learn that her senses were...condensed into a single mode of detection that locked on these phatom trails of light like a homing beacon.   
  
She lay there, a consciousness unhooked from reality, floating in a soup of remarkable light that was at once both foreign and familiar to her. She touched a nearby strand she could sense and felt a brief section of past time come into view with crystal clarity. Memories! These were her memories.  
  
Despite the vast, lonely emptiness that was half of the realm she found herself in, a sense of childish wonder and surreal joy came over her at this latest turn to what had been a saga of unrest and suffering. Each touch brought forth this surge of feeling that blossomed in her mind with a dazzling menagerie of memories. Despite the sometimes troubling contents of what she re-experienced, it was a wonderous experience.  
  
So she sailed through an ocean of her thoughts, the cosmos of her mind. Thoughts and feelings, all types of memories flew by, none left unsampled. Every touch brought forth a new experience as old feelings and memories were relived in a way she knew that no human being had ever experienced before. They flared to life for one brilliant instant, encompasing her whole field of feelings, then faded back to their wispy forms.  
  
During this entire remarkable experience, though, one feeling never left her side: the feeling, which gradualy grew into a cold hard certainty, that she was not alone.  
  
Experimenting with her body (or seeming lack thereof), she discovered that the act of thought was heard and felt (after a fashion), making vocal cords unnecessary in the enigmatic place. She called with great force over the realms of thought to the unseen being that lurked at the recesses of her mind, looking in like a bird of prey watched the denizens of Earth: silent, invisible, patient, and ready.  
  
Moments of millenia, eons of microseconds passed; no distinctive temporal order could discern which. Though the thoughts were her own, here was a place so lonely, so dark, so alien that is shook her to the core. If her body had been present, it would have been shaking from excitement, exhileration, and that strange unease which comes from being watched.  
  
After who knew how long, a barely perceivable wisp of thought passed her line of sight. It seemed...important, somehow. Straining to reach it, incorporeal fingers brushed a strand of memory that gave birth to a spike of light and sound inside her mind. Abruptly, Sam remembered her thoughts upon awakening that morning, remembered the feeling of revelation that had dawned upon her after the dream had taken a new an unexpected turn. She remembered Grace.  
  
'Grace?' The thought went out to the farthest reaches of this strange place, reverberating back at her almost instantaneously. Was her mind really that small that it would echo THAT fast?  
  
A voice, or rather the idea of a voice, sailed gently into her mind. 'Not small,' came a tone of thought from somewhere, 'not of any size. All minds are infinite and nothing, especially ours.'  
  
For a moment, she was too stunned to respond. The feel of the mind that touched hers in passing that message imparted an odd mixture of both fear and comfort to her. 'Grace? Is that you?'  
  
As if in answer to her question, the wisps of thought energy moved unbeckoned in her gaze, forming lines and curves that reformed themselves endlessly in a rapid dance of shapeshifting movement. Each time a brief pause occured, she felt as though an impression were being made upon her, but she couldn't decipher the shapes of what she felt. All too quickly, it was over.  
  
'Find them...my Hope.' With these last thoughts, the presence that could be none other than Grace vanished from the realm of Samantha Carters mind.  
  
TBC  
  
If you've ever experienced something like this...you need help. There are groups, usally ending with 'Anonymous.' Seek them out.  
  
Well, I'm putting all this energy into my writing. The LEAST you can do is move you fingers a drop a review off. There's more coming folks, so stay tuned. 


	4. Chapter Three: Diverging Paths

Need more info on this story? In that case, look at the first chapter.  
A path is found to a new beginning.  
Authors note: In case I haven't said it already, many apologies for the delay with my stories.  
  
Chapter Three: Diverging Paths  
  
Sam.  
She struggled against the binds of unconsciousness. Thick, heavy strands of exhaustion bore her down like lead weights. The voice, nagging her with her own name, didn't help matters any.  
Sam!  
It was now accompanied by a pounding noise, flesh on metal. It sounded familiar.  
Sam, c'mon, open up.  
Open up? Well, it would be a start. Let's go with the eyes for now.  
Cautiously, she opened one eye, a little surprised at the low light level in her lab. Everything was so dark and still. It was utterly unlike where she had just been...a thought which dissapated the instant it occured, taking with it a memory of a place of such unearthly peace and beauty that she felt hollow for a moment at not remembering it...whatever IT was.  
"Sam, it's me, Daniel."  
She opened her other eye and stared at her door. Of course, how could she not recognize Daniels voice, even whilst half-asleep? Turning on her back, she swung both feet over her bunk and got up. The distance to the door was covered in five long strides, where she wrenched open the heavy steel door, revealing Daniel Jackson in mid about-to-knock stance. "WHAT?"  
The archaeologist recoiled a little at the volume of her voice; the tone probably helped there, too. She instantly regretted her harshness; it was hard to get angry, and stay that way, at this man. "Sorry, it's just...I haven't been sleeping well lately."  
To Jackson's credit, he was quick to recover. "It's okay, I was just wondering where you were and if you were all right. With a yell like that, it'd be hard to think not."  
Sam Carter groaned, rubbing her forehead. "Daniel, I really don't need another dose of heavy sarcasm and flippant boyish meddling right now, okay?"  
"All right but, in that case, you might want to skip the briefing entirely. Jack will undoubtably say things if you're fifteen minutes late without a better excuse than you 'were tired.'"  
Sams head snapped up like a rubber band. "Briefing?" Not bothering to wait for Daniels response, she hurried to her bunkside. The digitial clock there read 11:13. "Oh crap!" Every nerve and muscle fiber in her body quickly went into emergency meeting mobilization mode. She had never been late in her professional life, not once! Of all the times to start dozing on the job.  
A wide-eyed Daniel took a cautious step into Major Carters lab, feeling like a possum in the middle of a six-lane highway. Sam was moving around so fast and so frenzied that it was hard to avoid her and stay on his feet at the same time. Fortuneately, years of bumbling around the galaxy had made him mostly immune to minor mishaps that situations like this might cause. Any third-party observers would think him an acrobat at the way he managed to dodge the blur of a blonde-haired scientists whizzing around the enclosed room. She gathered charts, file folders, some black blockish thing, her PDA, a laser pointer, and, last but not least, a notepad and stuck the numerous items in pockets and under her arms in an attempt carry them all at once. "Uh Sam, sure you don't want a hand with some of that stuff?"  
"Nh, thth ohay Dnnl, ut tnks," Sam spoke through a mouth gripping her multi-chromatic pen that she had developed several weeks ago. Taking one last quick look at her lab, Sam nodded and raced out the door. Daniel, thrown for a moment, raced after her.  
"Sam," Daniel called from behind her "you sure you're feeling okay? If not, there's nothing wrong with saying so and skipping the meeting altogether." She didn't listen and kept running. Inside her head, thoughts kept throwing themselves at her conscience. Late, late! How could she have let it happen? So much depended on her, and she let a little weariness overcome her? Way to go, Major, keep this up and maybe you'll let your guard down around the Goa'uld, killing SG-1. Then you'll have PLENTY of sleepy time, cause you'll be DEAD.  
The corridors streaked by on her way to the elevator. It was only when she was within twenty feet of them that she realized it would take longer getting down to the 28th level by machine than on foot. With that in mind, she bypassed the metal doors and darted for the stairs. She vaguely registered the sound of Daniel colliding with someone behind her. Must have been Sgt. Siler; he shouldn't stand in the way of hurried scienitists like that.  
Two minutes of frantic running, jumping, and dodging later, she emerged in the briefing room. Colonel O'Neill was making a paper football with a report of some sort, General Hammond was leafing through a folder, and Teal'c was staring intently into space. She knew that look; it was his 'I am waiting patiently for someone who does not have the decency to maintain a habit of strict punctuality' look. Great, now she was even starting to wear thin on Teal'c. Her disgust and revile for the new Carter jumped several notches.  
General Hammond looked up as she skidded to a halt in the doorway. "Ah, Major, glad you could make it." 'Well, I KNEW he would be dissappointed in me. That doesn't hurt as much as it could, I guess.' "Have a seat." She nodded absent-mindedly, watched her immediate CO out of the corner of her eyes. When she reached her spot at the table, she let the items she was carrying flop to the hard wooden surface.  
Sam had just managed to get her things in order when an out of breath and flustered Daniel stumbled into the room. "Sorry. I was...uh...got...lost." He glanced at her quickly. "Looking...for Sam, that is. I thought...she might have been in her lab, but she wasn't, so I looked in the commissary. Not there. So I asked around the scientists and, it turns out, she was tending to an emergency upstairs in-"  
'God this is painful. I can't let him do this. My fault, I own up to it.' "I fell asleep sir. I wasn't here because I forgot to wake up in time for meeting." 'If I can't control anything else in my life, I can at least tell the truth'  
Jack looked up from his paper football. "Carter? Asleep?" He turned to Hammond. "Sir, I recommend we write this down on the calendar as the FIRST ever day Major Carter actually took some time off because of pure exhaustion."  
"Colonel," Hammond rumbled warningly.  
"It'll be great, sir; a new holiday in the military. Carter day, celebrated by not showing up to work, sleeping in, and general absenteeism from boring meetings, paperwork, and such. Any seconds?" He raised his hand to indicate the method of supporting his idea.  
No one else in the room even needed to look at the bases CO to know the proper response. No other hands were raised to accompany O'Neills. Hammond must have seen the look on her downcast face. "Colonel, open your mouth one more time without permission and there will be trouble." The colonel lowered his arm. "Right. Now that we're all here, let's get this meeting underway."  
------------------------------------------  
The meeting had been called in response to a report from the Tok'ra that Anubis' super soldiers were beginning to see action across the galaxy in large numbers, wreaking havoc among the Goa'uld. The Tok'ra, as such, had lost several operatives in high-ranking positions to lesser Goa'uld system lords. It was the forgone conclusion that, coupled with his massive armada, these creatures would give Anubis all the brute force he needed to overwhelm any opposition to his conquest of Earth. Unless they found the Lost City, and soon, the Tau'ri would be no more.  
Since it seemed that their current method of testing gate addresses wasn't turning up anything very close to the Ancients stronghold of advanced technology that could be the salvation of Earth, General Hammond had ordered each of the members of his premier team to come up with recommendations for a new direction to take their search. Teal'c had recommended forging several exploratory teams of rebel Jaffa. It would give them the extra eyes and ears they may need to pick up a clue as to the Lost City's whereabouts. Colonel O'Neill had thought that a visit to the former Tollan homeworld may provide a few high-tech gadgets that could be used in the defence of Earth. Since it had been nearly two years since Anubis' forces, led by Tanith, had ravaged the peaceful civilizations new home, perhaps, he proposed, there was some possiblity that a small expedition could explore what was undoubtably now a planet of ruins and salvage some technological miracle that would neutralize Anubis' advantage over them.  
Then there was Daniel. If it wasn't for the fact that most everyone in the room loved the man like a brother (or, in General Hammond's case, a son), he'd have been killed several times over by now. He had been up before them lecturing on the possibilities of the Lost City's location for well over ninety minutes. He'd started by going over the few facts they'd learned about the Lost City and branched out to a number of ideas he thought might help everyone else think of ways to shorten their search. After that, he'd gone into possibilities HE had considered for the city. Each possible location was listed, of course, with a list of the criteria that seemed to support the idea that the Ancients bastion of tecnnological power might reside there. This had constituted the bulk of his time before them.  
As boring as the meeting was, Sam had retreated into her thoughts. It wasn't that the subject matter they were covering wasn't interesting, it was just that she simply wasn't interested in it. It was a rather hard distinction to make, especially if you were like her and interested in practically everything.  
As it was, though, nothing could drag her thoughts out of the mud at this point. 'First I let myself go to pieces for weeks over what Grace did to me without even putting two and two together to see it was her. Then I completely blow up in my superior officers face; he's right to draw out his decision on how to punish me for that, make me suffer. Finally, the icing on the cake, I'm late for a vitally important meeting which may very well determine the fate of both the planet and humanity combined. God, how far I've fallen.' What made the situation even worse was the feeling that, despite the amount of thought she had put into the matter, there was something with the whole Grace situation she was missing. A piece of the puzzle was loose, so small against the backdrop as to be indistinugishable, yet, and she knew this in her very core to be the absolute truth, more important than she could possibly imagine.  
A light thud from across the table caught her attention. O'Neills head had landed on the table on top of his crossed arms in front of him.  
"Colonel!" Came the accusatory remark from the General.  
"Sorry sir," her COs voice was rather muffled coming through his arms and the table. "I think I need to go to the infirmary." When the rest of the table had spent a few moments in shocked silence, he elaborated. "I think, with Daniels help, I've developed a mild case of narcolepsy."  
"Jack, this material is important."  
"All eight hours of it?"  
"That's enough, Colonel." Sam tuned out the rest of the conversation; it didn't concern her. Besides, that important thing she knew was there but had forgotten was nagging at her again. Shaking her head slightly, she tried to focus on Daniels presentation. When that didn't work, she instead tried focusing on her own presentation materials. No luck; her mind was in the ionosphere and gravity wasnt't cooperating to bring it back down.  
Slowly, she let out a long breath. Some scientist she was; all the evidence was in front of her and she couldn't remember some stupid little detail. Science was about logic and problem solving, yet here she was, unable to resolve the simple matter of remembering some...item or other that had previously occupied a great deal of her time. It should be as simple as finding thoughts that seemed associated with this nebulous item and tracking her thoughts throughout the recent past to see when she had dwelled on such things. That ALWAYS worked in the past, so why did it now yield zilch? It was like a gigantic, mile thick wall had been erected around the thought she needed, denying it to her. So far, the thing was totally impregnable.  
Her head lolled a little, exhaustion and self-pity dragging down her spirits. Her right hand moved to prop up her head, turning her eyes towards the display screen. 'A sign, I need a sign. God, please, help me. Show me what I have to do.' She tried to keep her eyes open, to focus on something. Her gaze wandered the screen, looking for a suitable visual anchor, something for her mind to-  
She froze. Every strand of her being was suddenly alight with anxiety, excitement, and a rising light of hope. Slowly, Sam rose to her feet, pushing her chair out behind her. As her feet carried her to the display board, her hand snatched a marker from the table. The bickering voices of her comrades was a faint drone in the distance, an unimportant detail in the vast scheme of things. Reaching the display screen, Sam took in the sight before her: a stellar carto-graphic map showed a planet in the inner Orion constellation, P5V-496. There was data displayed in small charts and graphs next to the rotating model of the planet, displaying atmosphere, geological, and biological reading of the surface, as well as marking the location of the stargate. What really caught her eye, though, was the gate address. It seemed...familiar, important, right...but not wholey so. Struggling with her memory, she traced her index finger over each symbol, digging in the recesses of her mind for some confirmation that she was on the right track.  
At the briefing table, Teal'c, who had not participated in the bickering match in which Hammond, O'Neill, and Jackson were engaging, studied her moves carefully. Jack, turning to Teal'c for support in his argument, noticed his friends distracted look and followed his line of sight to the Major at the head of the room, doing something on the display screen. Hammond caught onto his 2ICs focus quickly. After noticing that Jack AND the general were both distracted, Daniel looked up to see Sam doing something to the display screen with a marker. "Uh, Sam?"  
She paid him no heed. She couldn't, not if she wanted to get this all out for everyone to see. Her hand moved quickly for a few moments over several over the symbols. The entire room was dead quite except for the sound of black felt marker on plastic. Four pairs of eyes traced her every move, wondering what in the world she was doing.  
Moments later, Sam paused, checking her work to see if it felt right. It did, all of it. A small smile began to tug at the sides of her mouth. Finally, she had it!  
"Major?"  
Hammonds deep voice shocked her out of her triumphant reverie. Spinning to face him, she replied, "Yes, sir?"  
"What exactly are you doing?"  
She paused. 'How best to put this? How do I make them understand? How can I get them to trust me on this when I can't think of a single reason they should?' Marshalling her courage, Sam replied, "I believe we should investigate this gate address sir."  
More silence. Daniel broke it first. "Why?"  
'Here goes...' "I believe, based on some information I got out of some...calculations...recently that this," she ran her fingers over the gate address, which now had four of its first six symbols x-ed out, new symbols below them, "may contain valuable secrets we could use in our fight against the Goa'uld." It wasn't a lie, technically; she DID think something vital to Earth's survival lay at this gate address. Her 'calculations' were namely the simple mental trial and error routine of finding the symbols that didn't seem to fit in Daniel's address and then finding the correct symbols to replace them. And the information was simply an overwhelming feeling that now soared through her mind, the psyhchic equivilant of 'Gotcha'  
The colonel was the first to respond. "Space guns, maybe?"  
Wondering silently if he ever thought about anything high-tech besides ways to blow something up, Sam decided to go for total honesty now. Something about the way her immediate CO was eyeing her made her suspect he saw through her little truth-bending just a moment ago. "Quite honestly, sir, I have no idea." She thought there was a sign of dissapointment in General Hammonds eyes. A remote memory flickered at the back of her consciousness. "All I know is that it referred to this place as a source of last hope, some sort of repository or something."  
She was expecting the next question, but not from Teal'c. "Where did you find this information, Major Carter?"  
"Daniel's artifcats," the reply leapt from her mouth before she had a chance to check it. 'Well, in for a penny, in for a pound.' "I crossreferenced some of the symbols on a number of artifacts Daniel asked for my help with and came up with this," she gestured behind her, taking the opportunity as all other eyes in the room glanced at the display screen to shoot Daniel a meaningful look. He seemed to understand. When General Hammond asked about this development a moment later, Daniel played along, saying it had seemed so insignificant as to be not worth mentioning, unless it turned out something of value.  
A still, expectant silence descended on the briefing room once more, centered around the head of the SGC, awaiting his next command. Deep in contemplation, he appeared a statue, waiting out the slow march of time; after a moment, he spared her a glance, then let his gaze fall back to the table again. Sam held her breath, not daring to hope he would grant her permission to explore the address she had produced, for fear some nameless force would sense her desire and make Hammond say otherwise.  
"Colonel," the general finally spoke, "do you have objections to testing Major Carters address before seeing if the Tollan home- world is still standing? Colonel!" Jack was making a paper airplane out of one of Daniels handouts. His head jerked up as the general yelled at him. "Any objections?"  
No one missed the blank look of lostness on his face. "Uh...no?" He looked at Carter for a moment. "No, no sir," he answered, this time with a smile and much more confidence. Carter let out her breath in a silent sigh of relief.  
"Very well then," Hammond went on. "Major, if you'll accompany me to the control room, we can get started." With that, the meeting ended and Sam followed her superior officer into the control room, followed by the rest of SG-1, all eager to see where their resident genius would lead them to next.  
  
TBC  
  
Reviews feed the muscles in my hands; without those muscles...you got it, no more story. So, contribute to the health of my fic-writing hands and review please. 


	5. Chapter Four: Connections

The first step on a new road towards an uncertain future.  
Authors note: I can't think of anything to write, other than thanks, again, to everyone who reviewed.

Chapter Four: Connections

The control room, nerve center of the SGC. Here , in the possession of the United States Air Force, lay the Stargate, a device that served to make wherever it lay a crossroads in the galaxy. As Colonel O'Neill had once said, 'It's our onramp to the intergalactic highway of fast, flashy lights and mean surprises.' She had always before held a sense of wonder and excitement when here, but the feelings current power now transcended any that had come before it. Her nerves were afire with anxiety and adrenaline had released itself into her bloodstream, making her about as tightly wound as she could ever remember being, but in a good way. At last, things were starting to go right.  
"Major Carter, you may begin the dialing sequence."  
"Thank you sir." Seated at one of the control consoles, Walter, the usual gate technician, at the other, Samantha Carter entered the sequence of seven symbols that would engage their wormhole towards a previously un-explored world where, and she not only knew this in her mind but could feel it in her bones, something wonderful awaited them. The great inner ring of the alien artifact known as the Stargate spun to life seeking the proper symbols to create their wormhole. Within moments, the first of the symbols was locked into place. "Chevron one, locked," she reported with audible pleasure.  
"So, what are we looking to find here again?" Once again, her immediate COs imagination was running on overtime, probably dreaming of 'big honking space guns.' "Big honking space guns?"  
She couldn't help but smile. He obviously had been itching to get to the Tollan home world and acquire one of their ion cannons. Maybe this trip would render that one unnecessary. "The Ancients were the most advanced race ever to live in our galaxy and they once helped a lesser race construct a weapon we eventually calculated to be over ten times as powerful as the Tollans ion cannons. While their weapons, or whatever they used to protect themselves, might not be along the same lines, they would definitely be worth whatever efforts we put into them." The second chevron locked into place. "Chevron two engaged."  
"So..." Jack went on, "maybe?"  
Again, she couldn't help the smile that came to her face. "Maybe, sir."  
He smiled that smile that made him look like a kid in a candy store. "Sweet." He turned his attention back to the Stargate.  
"Well, even if we don't find any weapons there, finding some sort of defensive technology may mean that we don't have to defend Earth by fighting the Goa'uld. Maybe there'll be some sort of special wide area shield," Daniel said.  
"One can only hope, Dr. Jackson. The Pentagon has been trying for years to find a way to create a larger, stronger, planet-based version of the Goa'uld force shield but they haven't had any success." Hammonds thoughts on the matter were quite clear with that statement: the less soldiers whose lives he had to risk to keep earth safe, the better. She thought he might actually prefer finding such a shielding system over weapons if it meant that the Prometheus, their F-302s, and multiple SG teams didn't have to go out and actually engage their enemies.  
The third chevron locked into place. "Chevron 3 engaged," she said.  
"I agree, General Hammond. Any technology that can be used to defend Earth and other bases will be of great use in our fight against the Goa'uld." Teal'c sounded hopeful, and he had reason to be: such technology would mean that Earth might be able to commit forces to actually helping free his Jaffa bretheren instead of dashing about madly just to find something that might save their skins when Anubis attacked. Carter grinned a little; if even Teal'c were excited about this, maybe her contagious enthusiasm was a sign that she had finally found the jackpot.  
Beside her, at his control console, Walter turned to face her. "Major, are you sure these symbols are correct?"  
The fourth chevron locked into place. "Chevron four engaged." She turned her gaze to meet his. "Yes, why?"  
"Because I've just gone through the list of all our compiled addresses. Your entry is in here, and it was added when the Colonel was temporarily in possesion of the knowledge of the Ancients."  
Daniel moved to Walters console. "So, it was obviously hidden, unknown to the Goa'uld. That's great, that means Sams address was known only to the Ancients, meaning this is probably-" He broke off in mid-sentence, narrowing his eyes at the screen where Walters finger indicated. "Oh."  
'Oh?' That didn't sound too promising. "What is it?" she asked. The fifth chevron locked before them. "Chevron five engaged."  
"General," Daniel motioned the bases CO to the console where the Stargate addresses were listed. The Texan moved forward and stared for a moment at the screen, eventually letting out a sigh. It sounded like a dissappointed one. Before her eyes, the sixth chevron locked into place. "Shut it down."  
"What?!" It came out somewhat louder than she had intended. Five heads looked at her strangely. "Why?"  
"Because we won't get a lock, that's why. Do it." Walter nodded and moved his hands to enter the code to stop the dialing procedure. Before he could get there, however, Carters hands flew over her own console, locking the controls and halting the inner ring in mid-dial. "Major? I ordered the dialing procedure canceled. Is there a problem?" His tone indicated that there had better be a damned good reason for her to violate his order.  
"Sir, we're seconds away from dialing the address, why would you assume it wouldn't work for no reason?" Hammonds eyes narrowed at her, indicating she may have stepped over the line. When he spoke, she was sure of it.  
"Major, my trust in you and SG-1 is rock solid. I would hope the same would go for your trust in me?"  
"Yes sir, never occured to me that it shouldn't be." Jack responded promptly like the military officer he was.  
"I wasn't addressing you, Colonel."  
"Oh. Sorry. Reflex." His eyes, too, fell on Carter. She fidgeted a little under the combined scrutiny of the two most high-ranking officers in the SGC. Daniel and Teal'c also regarded her strangely while Walter looked miffed at having been cut off in the midst of his duties. Not a lot of people on her side all of a sudden.  
"Of course, sir. It always has been, no exceptions."  
"Then you trust me to make the best decisions not only for this command, but for Earth as well, correct?"  
She wasn't liking where this was going. What WAS on that console anyways? She didn't dare move to look at it presently, though. "Absolutely sir. I just don't-"  
"Do you think I would EVER give an order around here, particularly regarding the Stargate, without a damn good reason?" Yep, no mistaking it, he was angry. Rightfully so, too; she would probably be even MORE so in his position. Whoa boy, this was definitely not looking good.  
"No sir, of course not. I just don't understand why-"  
"Take a look at the address in the list, Major." His tone made it quite clear that it was not an invitation so much as an order, one she didn't dare put off. Speaking not a word, she opened up the address list, dreading finding something that she felt she should have seen coming. Finally, she got there, and disappointment and defeat welled up in her like a dark, oppresive storm cloud. The address WAS in the list under the section of destinations attainable using the combination of symbols O'Neill had provided with the help of the Ancient database. The address had been scheduled for dialing just over two months ago, right before her mission on the Prometheus.  
The address had been dialed. No connection had been formed, though. It was a dead end.  
"Shut it down, Major. Major?" She didn't hear him, though. Inside her, turmoil raged: an overwhelming despair fought with an iron-clad certainty in the veracity of her choice. It HAD to be right, it HAD to be there. But if it was, they couldn't get to it. It was over, her last shot at finding out just what the hell her feelings had been driving her towards for these past few weeks was gone. The urge to cry out in anger and despair was almost overwhelming; if she hadn't been so shocked by what she was seeing, she might have done just that. Instead, she simply looked at the data appended to the address: 'Attempted 2/15/04. Connection failed. Attempt rescheduled for 3/30/12, time allowing.' The automated dialing program had put off the attempt for another eight years! By that time, they'd all be dead or enslaved by the Goa'uld. It couldn't be, she couldn't believe it, it just COULDN'T be true!  
"Major!" The sound of the generals firm and angry voice shocked her out of her bout of self-pity and disbelief to face him. "Release the controls for the Stargate and disengage the dialing sequence, now!"  
"Carter?" Jacks voice caught her attention, not because he dared interrupt what was going on or because she felt the need to concentrate on someone else besides the imposing Texan general before her. It was his tone, a pondering and curious one that forecast some piece of information that might help in the current situation. Whether it was information she wanted, though, that was another story. "Didn't we run into something like this before?"  
That caught General Hammonds attention. "What do you mean, Colonel?"  
"Well, that time we went to the Amish planet-"  
"...Amish?"  
"Uh, I think he's talking about the K'Tau system, where we accidently short circuited their sun," Daniel interjected.  
"Right, that one. Anyway, we had trouble dialing the first time, so Carter decided to override some protocol or other. Maybe that's what we need to do here."  
"Colonel, those protocols were put back place and never again overridden to ensure that we never again caused such a near-catastrophe as the one we nearly visited on that planet. Are you recommending abandoning such safety procedures again?"  
While the Colonel was thinking this over, an idea occured to Sam. 'Of course, why didn't I think of that before?' "Sir, the colonel is right, but not the way he was thinking." The silence she got from the general encouraged her. "The reason we couldn't get a lock was because we would have passed directly through K'Taus sun, violating one of the safety protocols. Now we never again disregarded those safety protocols for fear of causing another such accident. However, if this is a similar situation, and there's no reason to think it isn't, the position of PFR-444 will have changed relative to its sun. The star would no longer be in the way, meaning we could go ahead without fear of any ill effects."  
"IF, and it's a very large if, Major, that is the case, then I would have no problem authorizing a go ahead. However, you have no idea just what is preventing the connection. Even IF your theory about it being the position of the planet relative to the star were correct, that star could be massive and the planet close or far away enough to have a short or long enough orbit that two months might mean the planet has barely moved at all or that its already gone around and is back in roughly the same position it was in previously. It's most likely, however, that the gate is just buried, like God knows just how many others, in which case this is a waste of time and energy that we can't afford. Have you thought of ANY that?"  
Indeed, she hadn't. Every single word he spoke ran true to her; all perfectly logical and not only plausible but quite likely. Still, she had to do it. They HAD to find this place. She was out of justifications and excuses, though. Only one course left. "Sir, I know it seems like a long shot, but given the possible rewards, isn't it worth just this one attempt? If EVERYTHING we've ever sought is out there, just waiting for us to engage that last chevron, isn't it worth the extra minute and megawatts of power just to try?"  
There wasn't a sound in the control room except for the steady humming of the computers. All eyes were on General Hammond, who was gazing at the Stargate. For a long moment, he didn't speak, didn't move, did nothing. She barely realized it, but she was holding her breath. "Sir," Hammond looked at her, expression unreadable, "please?"  
He heaved a heavy sigh. Fear and anger built within her, ready to burst forward and consume her should this last chance vanish. Earth certainly wouldn't last eight more years with Anubis out there, getting ready to strike. They needed this, SHE needed this. A last, desperate thought of resuming and locking in the dialing sequence before he could say no, no matter the consequences, flew through her mind. She would have acted on it had he not spoken: "Very well, Major. Finish the dialing procedure."  
Several people, Carter included, let out the breathes they had been holding. "Yes sir." She turned back to her console and unlocked the controls, then reactivated the dialing procedure. "Chevron six is already engaged."  
The inner ring spun, rolling towards the symbol of Earth, their point of origin. No one spoke; the tension was tangible, an invisible cloud descended to the depths of the mountain, smothering them all. Sam felt it most of all. It had to happen, it had to be right. She didn't know what she would do if the connection didn't occur. She closed her eyes and, for the first time in years, prayed.  
Seeing her preoccupied, Walter took up the duty of watching and monitoring the connection status. The seventh chevron finally slid into place. "Chevron seven..." he trailed off.  
"Please," she whispered.  
A familiar sound echoed through the silence of the bottom of the mountain: a locking sound. "...locked," Walter finished.  
She opened her eyes in time to see wormhole burst into creation. Relief flooded through her, warm and refreshing. "General?"  
He didn't waste one moment. "Send the MALP through." Within moments, the treaded robot made its way up the ramp and through the event horizon. Visual, audio, thermal, spectrographic, and atmosphereic data began streaming back instantaneously, revealing a world of wide open plains with small, rolling hills in the distance. The sky shone red under cover of clouds that obscured what was likely light from a red giant. A quick rotation of the camera revealed the DHD, the Stargate, and not much else.  
"Looks all right, sir. No dangerous radiation or toxin readings and the air is breathable. Can't see any sign of hostile activity, Goa'uld or otherwise. It's all clear."  
"Right. SG-1, suit up, you leave immediately."  
"Yes sir. C'mon campers, let's get a move on." Jack beckoned them all to the locker room. "Time to find us some space guns!"  
Sam got up, following Daniel and Teal'c out of the room. She stopped, however, when she felt a hand on her shoulder, making her turn around. It was General Hammond. "I'm glad you were right, Major. Next time, however..."  
She nodded and swallowed at the same time. "Yes sir, I understand; it won't happen again."  
"Glad to hear it. Now get going."  
"Yes sir." She turned to leave, pausing at the doorway. "Sir?"  
"Yes Major?"  
"Thank you, sir, for believing in me."  
"I always have Major. You've never let me down before, I've no reason to believe you'll start now."  
She smiled at him, then left to join the rest of SG-1 to suit up for the trip to PFR-444.

"Daniel, I told you, those glasses aren't yours, they belong to me. And don't tell me you bought a pair just like mine, because yours appeared just days after I lost mine."  
"Yes, thank you Jack for admitting what really happened: you lost yours."  
"Yes, because you took them. I lost them to your thievery."  
Ignoring the ranting of her teammates, Carter finished fishing her gear out of her locker. Strapping on her flak jacket and combat vest, she checked the Beretta M-9 in the holster at her hip: 15 rounds, a full clip. She slapped the magazine back in and loaded the pockets of her vest with several extra clips. Then she ran through the same routine with her P-90, letting the automatic rifle hang from her shoulder by the strap. From the ammuntion locker, she took four fragmention grenades and hung them from the hooks on her vest. Sliding the Bowie combat knife into its sheath on the back of her combat belt, she reflected that, instead of the usual casual preparedness that had been drilled into her by the Air Force, something deeper, more primitive, was impelling her to arm herself as best possible. It was chilling, slightly, to think that whatever had forced her to act on some hidden instinct in the belief that such actions would lead to wondrous results also failed to alert her to some fundamental danger awaiting her. Was it possible these...feelings were driving her into the jaws of some unknown danger?  
"So," O'Neill's voice cut into her thoughts made her jump a little, "everyone ready for another exciting excursion into the unknown?" The smile O'Neill was wearing was infectious, but she forced herself not to smile anyways. Still, she had to wonder what made him sound so happy.  
Fortunately, she didn't have to inquire; Daniel asked the question for her. "You're in a good mood, all of a sudden Jack. Did you take your ritalin for once?" He ducked as Jack swiped at his head, smiling michieviously. THAT she had to grin at; six years of working with Jack O'Neill had started to rub off on Daniel Jackson.  
"Space guns, Danny," he said as he followed Teal'c out of the room. "We may be finding space guns today!"  
"Riiiight," was Daniel's response. As soon as the two warriors were out of the room, he turned to Sam. "So, big day."  
"Yeah," she agreed. His silence engaged her curiosity and she glanced at him. Those deep blue orbs were starin intently at her, knowing what was coming. Still, it didn't make facing it any easier.  
"Sam, you didn't actually get that information from any of my artifacts, did you?" When she hesitated to respond, he pressed further. "What's going on anyways? I'll support you no matter what but, if you want my help in this, it'd be good for me to know what's going on. I can't just-"  
"Daniel," she cut him off, "you're right, I DIDN'T get the information from your artifacts. The source I got it from was even more reliable." This only seemed to confuse him. "Trust me, whatever questions you have will soon be answered, if not by what we're about to discover then by me. I promise you, everthing will be explained soon." She waited for his response. Several uncomfortable moments went by while the man she thought of as a brother seemed to ponder her words. "Hey," Sam put her hand on his shoulder and squezed, which he responded to by meeting her gaze again, "I'm thankful for your support, believe me, you have no idea how much. Still...just a little while longer? That's all I ask." Finally, he sighed and nodded his head. "Thanks, Daniel." With that, she left to follow Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c to the Gate room.  
She and Daniel arrived as the dialing sequence was halfway through. O'Neill was polishing his sunglasses and Teal'c was, as always, looking stoic. Perfectly normally beginning to God knows what sort of mission this would turn out to be. "Nice of you two to join us," O'Neill commented conversationally. "So, Carter..."  
"Sir, for the last time, I don't know if we're going to find any weapons systems."  
"Just checking." They went back to staring at the spin Stargate. "But there's a chance, right?"  
"Always is, sir." 'I just hope it's not pointed at us.'  
He seemed to mull this over, then shrugged. "That'll work for me."  
Before them, the seventh chevron locked into place. A voice issued from the control room, "Wormhole engaged," at the same time as the event horizon materialized. The turbulent symmetrical blue plume of energy rippled into existance, then stabilized in the flat vertical pool they had become so familiar with.  
"SG-1, you have a go to PFR-444," General Hammonds voice filtered down into the embarkation room. "Good luck."  
"Thank you, sir," O'Neill responded. "Okay, campers, time to raid the alien tech store." With that, he and Teal'c plodded up the ramp towards a new, unexplored planet over 40,000 light-years away. Sam followed, trailed a couple feet back to her right by Daniel. Of all the trips they had been on, all the feelings she had experienced before those plunges through space/time, no previous mosaic of emotions could compare to now going through her head. Glancing at her teammates, she knew they were excited too, but that seemed to be about it. There was no trace of fear, doubt, or anticipation of danger. Her corresponding feelings weren't anywhere near what she had been feeling as little as two hours ago. Still, there was that gnawing sensation of uncertainty inside of her, making her wonder just what it was that was pointing her in this direction. Just what was beyond this wormhole, anyways?  
As Teal'c and the Colonel walked though the event horizon, Carter steadied her nerves. 'Well, it's about time we found out the answer to both those questions.' Inhaling and exhaling one last breath just two feet from the event horizon, she stepped forward and plunged into the cosmos towards destiny.

TBC

Magnets, review magnets. My many review magnets are pulling the reviews from you. Very powerful, do not resist the urge.


End file.
